Slay the monster, take a stand; Quit the excuses

Slay the monster, take a stand; Quit the excuses

Lately, I have been in a good place, a better place than I use to be;  but still, I travel down the memory lane of the time when I had a long list of people, things and situations I blamed and thought were responsible for the ‘perceived wrongs’ in my life. While these situations were to be stepping stones, for a while I saw them as set-backs and with my perceptions then, back I remained for a while.

Despite the acknowledgement and praises at my obvious significant progress as a teenage single parent, I couldn’t see the good and lacked that ability to adequately appreciate the milestone I had covered. Oh! What a dark moment, thank God I pulled through.

Painfully and gradually I have learnt that no other than you and your habits is responsible for your happiness, health, success, achievements and or state in life; no amount of postponement, blame game or excuses will help so just quit the excuses.

Research, learn from others, devise your strategies to maneuver through the storms of life to your destination. Let no one tell you otherwise: storms, challenges and troubles are all part of the journeys of life;  it’s your decision to see and name it as you choose; either as windows to breakthroughs, stepping stones, or crisis that destroys.

“The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that break him and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires” J. Paul Getty an American-born British petrol-industrialist admonishes.  

We must begin to see our life journeys as any other business transaction, because that is what it is; invest your time, talents and other resources in only what will edify you, something that will push you higher and disassociate yourself from all that won’t; set your goals, map out your plans, fellow through till you achieve it .

At every point in time that you have to make decisions, just pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions: how will this decision support my goals? will it advance me, the world and the values I hold? Don’t ever be in a haste to make decisions, for in decision making thirty seconds can be equal a life time. That choice, can make or mar you for life.

I once encountered an undergraduate, a pretty lady who had to forfeit two years to start all over as a fresher due some dumb choices,  she shared her past experience thus: “I have taken some hasty decisions in the past, good as it seems then, they turned around to be really bad. I could still remember that moment; how I could have just done otherwise and be in what could have been a better place but all I had afterwards were the repercussions and wish that I could turn back the hands of time.”

“I accepted admission into one of overrated-expensive private institutions to pursue a career I wasn’t really interested, qualified or ready for just because most of my peers were going to the university that year. This act cost me two sweet years of my life and wasted our family resource, I was doing very bad both academically and socially, I eventually dropped out and had to start all over” she stated.

 While some decisions can be rejigged, tolerated, gradually reversed or reinvented for good; others can be very devastating, causing a transgenerational damage with a seemingly no opportunity for redress, so be careful to think through before you make a decision.

Even when these decisions can be reversed not all have the capacity to go through with the demands, some people are eventually buried beneath their not so great decisions and they just give-up on any attempt at a second chance.

A clear example is marriage: it’s not new to see people who had made poor decisions in tying the knot with someone they thought was the right person settling in the abusive relationship either because of societal expectations, economic demands, religious inclinations and others, as the case may be. Funny though, these unending list of demands are fragments of their sociological perception, they are held down by it for too long a time never to realize that they have been a victim of self-slave-master. For their abuser, has to some extent, just the power they had given and the society, the things they yearn for.

Align yourself with people, things and situations that motivates you to be your best, find your place of peace and happiness, stop the excuses! Be accountable for your actions, re-strategise, set your goals again and again if need be and run your race on a better terms. Like it is said, if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl; by all means just keep moving.

You must understand that this is your life; this is your movie and the main character is you; every other person, things and events are dependent on you and not vis-visa; even the Lord in the Holy Book enjoins us to love the world as we love ourselves, He certainly knew that we can only give as much as we have. Take total responsibility for your life, imbibe habits that will strengthen you to your destination, be optimistic, shake-off all that has held you down for in actual sense no one or thing can (you are as you deem); trust me it is a mind game, for the mind is the first place to win a war. Equip yourself aright, take charge and join-in, for your journey has since began.

 I recall with astonishment the story of the Twelve Spies in the bible’s account of Israelite’s journey to the promise land, how they had to cross the wilderness (fight the giants and other challenges that were on the way) to the promise land; a land so rich, it was said to be flowing with milk and honey; however, it was to every one as he sees. Here we see the power of choice and faith; Caleb and Joshua choose to see that it was possible to defeat the giants and they had faith in their God and ability to succeed and they did.

Choice and Faith: these are also two important component of human success; while choice encompasses will, ability and capacity; Faith has to do with the force to trust, it is the engine that propels your ability and capacity. There are always two important forces to trust at one’s disposal- the force of the human self and the force of the super being (God), which is very much indispensable to achieve a sustainable success. More than the importance of life itself is man’s need for God and the earlier this is realised and maximised every day, the better it is for the former.

Another illustration that comes to mind is Pregnancy and child birth: But for some very few exemptions and situations where human ingenuity and scientific breakthrough ease off the pains of labour, it is inevitable to hold the beautiful new born without the before and after pains of dilation or Cesarean Section (CS), you just cannot wish it away. Not even a spouse’s loving caress can take it away. However, while some still cry and curse through the sessions and contraction, most wise women clinching their teeth pray through,  fixing their gaze at the ultimate prize of their bouncing beautiful baby; it is still  a matter of choice. These further epitomizes the case of the cross and the glory, practically enviable.

Self-discipline; Faith and Choice; Habits and responsibilities are some of the basic mantra to human success and happiness, know these truths about life and face every situation from an informed point of view. It  isn’t about the situations, people or the things but how you apply your habits and responsibilities to these external factors that determine your state in life. Those who knew this principle about life have since moved on higher to another level of exploration. 

Once again, I enjoin you to stop the blame game! Stop the excuses!! Trust me, it has never and won’t help, some of us were almost drawn by it. Imagine for once, that  all the humans on the this magnificent-beautiful planet earth were a replica of you multiplied into millions, what will a Monday evening story be? what will a room of you(s) be like? what will the world be like with you? Will the world be great? Will it be fun having men and women of you? Will you be okay if everybody acts just like you do?

Research over the years has shown that most people never accept full responsibility for their life and well-being. They settle in their king-size comfort of excuses and blame game they blame everyone, someone, something and situations all but themselves for their state in life. It is eternally dangerous to be counted among the aforementioned as the effect spreads beyond just the individual but to his or her dependents and acquaintances. Imagine being led by a pessimistic, indifferent individual or an extremist.

Like the Holy Bible enjoins us “whatever your hands find to do, do it well”  be positive, be happy, don’t cut corners, don’t cheat and if you ever fall (by any form of shortfalls), get back on the right track for it is human to make mistakes, keep at these if you seek to be happy, fruitful and fulfilled.   

Even though it might call for self-reinvention, total re-navigation, attitudinal change, constant practice and self-mastery to uphold; positive habits and being responsible is rewarding and the transformation is in the class of the ’whoa!!!’ range of experience. You do not only become a better for it, but even your mindset, relationships, expectations and results will henceforth be excellent; and what about the inner peace and satisfaction, it is just wonderful.         

Not your background, not the poor choices made earlier, not the seeming shortfalls, not the pull-down mantra of some miss-guided inconsequential fellows, certainly not the colour of thy skin, not the countless disappointments, nothing should hold you down because truth be told nothing but yourself can hold you down. It is what you call it: a stepping stone or a set-back; it’s yours to choose, it’s yours to decide.


Although this write up tends to travel all round different issues that seems not really related (pardon me), my intention is share how discipline, positive Habits and Responsibilities, knowledge and the suiting-balm of Choice and Faith can mitigate the journey to self-actualization, happiness and success.

I will be expatiating on these issues as time goes by, with the hope that someone will exhale, smile, learn and be motivated. Do have a blessed month. 


Published by Avoswahi

I am a Media and Public Relations Professional. I am a Motivator. I am a Simple and easy going, a happy Person. I appreciate books, music, movies and other creative works. I am Committed to positively impacting the world. I am a Nigeria! I am simply a healing soul, on a quest to create beautiful 🥰 moments and memories of hope, laughter and faith. Hoping to learn and share. I love life, faith, arts, communication, music, books, family, freedom, peace, grace, fashion, writing, photography, colours, architecture, Construction, plants…. Now you know, my list is endless 😂.

9 thoughts on “Slay the monster, take a stand; Quit the excuses

    1. A very deep write up full of lived experiences and the need to be able to pull through life situations and challenges.
      Future writeups could be improved upon by breaking it into various topics. This will allow readers to have deep reflection on each topics.


  1. Wow what a way to start my day.
    So much depth. Simple but deep truth. I don’t know why you kept this side of you I needed so much from me and my kind for so long but I am grateful it’s finally out for us to here. Weldone ma. There is more where this came from! Empty it all out. Sound wisdom! Greater grace upon you always. 😍🤗🤗🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

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